Republican Woes

Wow, talk about a rough month for Republicans! Three rising stars have suddenly plummeted to the ground in absolute humiliation....let's talk about them!

First up, we have Sen. John Ensign from Nevada. Several news outlets were touting him as a possible presidential nominee in 2012. Frankly, I think that's giving him a little too much credit. Vice-President nominee? Sure. President? I have more of a chance of being confused for George Clooney than of Enisgn getting the prez. nod. Anyway, it seems that Sen. Ensign has found himself involved in a sex scandal with a member of his campaign staff. For any of you interested in running for office one day, Mr. G's helpful tip of the day is......DON'T DO THIS!!!! Nothing can kill a political career like a sex scandal.

Next up in the Republican bag of "Why Did I Do That?", we find the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford. Unlike Ensign up there, this fella was a serious contender for the presidential nomination in 2012. Sanford comes from the old school wing of the Republican Party: small government, fiscal conservative, states' rights, etc. Sanford is what the Republican Party was before George W. Bush turned it into the "YeeHaw! Let's blow stuff up!" Party. Sanford attracted a lot of attention when he refused to accept any of the federal stimulus money that was designated for South Carolina, claiming that it would result in South Carolina having more debt in the future (which, by the way, he's probably right about). Many Republicans got giddy. "Hey, here's a guy who's actually showing some courage and standing up to Pres. Obama and the Democrats, and doesn't look like an idiot when he's doing it!" Then, shortly after the South Carolina legislature voted to accept the stimulus money anyway, Sanford disappeared. Seriously, the governor freakin disappeared! His staff claimed that he was "clearing his mind" by hiking the Appalachian Trail. Turns out, he was clearing his mind in Argentina....with his mistress. Remember Mr. G's tip about being in political office? DON'T HAVE A SEX SCANDAL!!!

Which brings us to Sarah Palin. No, there's no sex scandal involved here, so don't get excited Corey. On July 4th, while the rest of you were celebrating the birth of your country by blowing up a small part of it with homemade fireworks, Ms. Palin made a stunning announcement. Effective later this month, she would be resigning as governor of Alaska! What?!?!?! Now, this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Palin may not be the brightest Republican, but she has major grass-roots support. And she was in the best position to get the presidential nomination in 2012. Now, she has the appearance of a quitter, someone who can't take the heat. And if you can't take the heat in ALASKA, then you're probably not gonna be able to handle the spotlight of Pennsylvania Avenue.

So, who does that leave for the Republican nomination for 2012? The media is currently looking at former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney, and former governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee. Dark horse candidates include libertarian Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, who attracted a lot of attention last year during the Republican primaries, and the governor of Louisiana Bobby Jindal. (By the way, if Mr. G were a gambling man, he'd place his money on Jindal). But as of right now, if the Republicans don't get their stuff together, they better just forget about 2012 and start looking at the 2016 election!